Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
