just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize