There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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