can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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