Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
