I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
