well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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