just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This is my gift to your gina
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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