we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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