'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
