so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
