I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
God, I missed his penis.
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