covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
