Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
