If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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