Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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