Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Randomize
