Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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