I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
