I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize