A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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