Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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