so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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