..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I am available for nakedness
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
