your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
