You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
