He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
