If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
