Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
