Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
