What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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