I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
