i just wanna soil my oats bro
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
