if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
