Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
