My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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