All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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