We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
