I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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