he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
