u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There r osticjed everywhere
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
