OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize