I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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