Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
