I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
