please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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