Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
