my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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