Having a random hookup so left but love u
It's Friday. Sex?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
