Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize