Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize