Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
