also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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