Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
