I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The Olympian is in my bed
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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