Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
