TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
