She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Buhtt sex?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
