Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
