Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
is wine microwaveable?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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