Welp...herpes.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
