do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
