He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
