Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize