Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
