We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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